


Blowin' Up My Phone

by RobinLorin



Series: Boyfriend From Gascony [6]
Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Other, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-27
Updated: 2014-07-27
Packaged: 2018-02-10 16:31:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2031984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobinLorin/pseuds/RobinLorin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not easy to keep up a long-distance bromance, but d'Artagnan and Constance manage it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blowin' Up My Phone

**Author's Note:**

> Overlaps with the previous two works in this series.

**D’Artagnan**

Hi! It's d'Artagnan! Porthos gave me your number, I hope it’s ok.

 

**Constance**

Hi sweetie. Of course it’s fine. It was nice seeing you again last weekend.

 

**D’Artagnan**

You too. Can I ask you something?

 

**Constance**

Of course. 

 

**D’Artagnan**

Are Aramis and Porthos always so... them??

 

**Constance**

You haven't seen anything yet, lol.

 

**Constance**

We prefer to call it “overly familiar platonic tension.”

 

**D’Artagnan**

Oh, like queerplatonic?

 

**Constance**

I’ve never heard that before but, it’s surprisingly apt.

 

*

 

**D’Artagnan**

UUGGGGGHH >:(  I can’t deal w two more months of the academy

 

**Constance**

Chin up! You don't have to deal with this paperwork yet, u have nothing to complain about.

(photo attachment)

 

**D’Artagnan**

Is that what I have to look forward to?

 

**Constance**

If you last two more months… Yup.  

 

**D’Artagnan**

Whimper

 

*

 

**D’Artagnan**

(photo attachment)

Working on my bowling swing

 

**Constance**

You have a long way to go if you want to beat me.

 

**D’Artagnan**

Rude :P

 

*

 

**D’Artagnan**

Missed u last sat. Hope u had a good time on ur date

 

**Constance**

It was lovely, thanks. We saw a play and had a midnight dinner in a tiny little café afterwards.

 

**D’Artagnan**

Sounds sweet. Gonna go out w them again?

 

**Constance**

Yes I think so.

 

**D’Artagnan**

U ever gonna tell us who this person is?

 

**Constance**

I don’t think you even know them.

 

**D’Artagnan**

But it’s the MYSTERY! I’m almost a detective u kno!! I have to solve things, it’s in my nature.

 

**D’Artagnan**

Plus if I know before Aramis I can hold it over him forever

 

**Constance**

My dating life isn’t a gambling game!

 

**D’Artagnan**

Sorry :(

 

**Constance**

I’ll tell you when I’m ready.

 

**D’Artagnan**

Got it.

 

*

 

**Constance**

I think you should go easy on Athos tonight.

 

**D’Artagnan**

We’re just Skyping, nothing unusual

 

**D’Artagnan**

Nothing /hard/ ;)

 

**Constance**

I mean emotionally. He’s had a bad day.

 

**D’Artagnan**

Oh. Did he get another call from his ex’s lawyers?

 

**Constance**

Athos should probably be the one to tell you that. But try not to mention divorce, murder, acquittals, or siblings tonight.

 

**D’Artagnan**

After that summary I don’t think I even need Athos to tell me after all

 

**D’Artagnan**

I ACCIDENTALLY MENTIONED TWEVLE ANGRY MEN IS THIS BAD

 

*

 

**D’Artagnan**

I’m done w training!! Bye bye academy!!!

 

**D’Artagnan**

(video attachment)

Party for interns wish u were here!!!

 

**D’Artagnan**

More time to spend w Athos in so happy :D

 

**D’Artagnan**

Moat sex w Athos too ;)

 

**D’Artagnan**

He does a thing with his tongue like magic

 

**Constance**

D’Artagnan I'm trying to interrogate a suspect! Pls stop texting me!!

 

*

 

**D’Artagnan**

I’m so sorry for last night

 

**Constance**

You owe me at least three martinis when you visit next

 

**D’Artagnan**

I’m rlly RLLY sry

 

**Constance**

We can’t all be carefree, drunken interns.

 

**D’Artagnan**

It was our last day at the academy! I had an excuse

 

**Constance**

You're done? Done with everything?

 

**D’Artagnan**

Yeah I've been tellin u

 

**Constance**

That's really wonderful!

 

**D’Artagnan**

I can’t wait to start working :)

 

*

 

**D’Artagnan**

This sucks

 

**Constance**

Weren’t you so excited to start just last week?

 

**D’Artagnan**

Yeah that’s when I thought there would be real work to do. I just spent an hour finding escaped peahens and putting them back in their pen.

 

**Constance**

Poor little farm boy.

 

**D’Artagnan**

Just for that I’m going to decimate your record score this weekend.

 

**Constance**

You can try. Your underhand swing still needs work.

 

*

 

**Constance**

Athos mentioned you're not visiting this weekend?

 

**D’Artagnan**

Yeah

 

**Constance**

OK. You two aren't having trouble, are you?

 

**D’Artagnan**

No no! nothing like that. Personal stuff

 

**Constance**

If you say so...

 

**D’Artagnan**

Okay it’s kind of embarrassing but I broke my leg

 

**D’Artagnan**

Getting out of the bath

 

**D’Artagnan**

I tripped and broke my leg so I can't come this weekend

 

**D’Artagnan**

Constance?

 

**D’Artagnan**

Constance please stop laughing

 

**Constance**

I'm not laughing. I'm telling Porthos and HE’S laughing. I think he’s ruptured something. I might need to call an ambulance. I’ll get back to you.

 

**D’Artagnan**

Ha ha very funny

 

**D’Artagnan**

At least she doesn’t know I tripped over my vibrator while we were skyping

 

**D’Artagnan**

THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO TO ATHOS DON’T TELL PORTHOS THAT

 

**D’Artagnan**

CONSTANCE???!

 

*

 

**Constance**

Any excitement in Lupiac?

 

**D’Artagnan**

Not unless you count the old woman up the street trying to steal her neighbor’s dog again. Slow day in Paris, I take it?

 

**Constance**

The slowest. Rochefort accidentally set off the sprinklers and we had to evacuate.

 

**D’Artagnan**

Didn’t he accidentally set a fire last month with tin foil in the microwave?

 

**Constance**

The man will be the death of us, I swear.

 

**D’Artagnan**

Wait pls tell me Athos was there when the sprinklers went off

 

**Constance**

No. Why

 

**D’Artagnan**

I was hoping you could take a picture of him in a wet shirt

 

**Constance**

Next best thing. His partners in crime were here.

 

**Constance**

(photo attachment)

I told them to pose like Playboy bunnies.

 

**D’Artagnan**

You should have been a photographer

 

**D’Artagnan**

Keep an eye on that detective behind Aramis. I think he’s going to try for a grope in a min

 

*

 

**D’Artagnan**

Thx for helping me with the surprise! :D I don't think Athos was expecting a day off

 

**Constance**

You’re welcome. :) You're lucky I convinced him to go home instead of doing more work

 

**D’Artagnan**

He wanted to stay? Lol

 

**Constance**

A break was good for him.

 

**D’Artagnan**

It was good for me too ;)

 

*

 

**D’Artagnan**

Guess who called me today??? Captain Treville!!! He says he’s looking at me for an intern spot!!!

 

**Constance**

Good for you :)

 

**D’Artagnan**

You don’t sound surprised...??

 

**Constance**

Athos was bragging to all of us about it the minute he got off the phone with you. Sorry to take the wind out of your sails, sweetie.

 

**D’Artagnan**

He was??!?! He’s so perfect <3

 

**Constance**

Yes yes, it was very cute.

 

*

 

**Constance**

Did you remember your toothbrush?

 

**D’Artagnan**

Getting a new one in Paris

 

**Constance**

Socks and underwear?

 

**D’Artagnan**

Calm down, my sister’s already been over everything. TWICE!

 

**Constance**

And who said they had the cake “covered" for Porthos’ birthday and forgot it in Athos’ apartment?!

 

**D’Artagnan**

That was ONE TIME

 

*

 

**D’Artagnan**

Treville says I have to be “discreet” about my social media when I work in Paris :( Code for “no pics of Athos” :( :( :(

 

**Constance**

Oh yes, the department privacy policy. You know each officer represents the department and any personal information could be misconstrued by the media.

 

**D’Artagnan**

I know, I know. It just sucks.

 

**Constance**

You can still send us your pictures, love.

 

**D’Artagnan**

I’m so glad you said that

 

**D’Artagnan**

(photo attachment)

 

**D’Artagnan**

(photo attachment)

 

**D’Artagnan**

(photo attachment)

 

**D’Artagnan**

(photo attachment)

 

**D’Artagnan**

(photo attachment)

 

**D’Artagnan**

Isn’t his bedhead so cute?!?! Those are from last weekend.

 

**Constance**

Oh god.

 

*

 

**D’Artagnan**

Hey neighbor

 

**Constance**

Get back to work, newbie.

 

**D’Artagnan**

:D

 

*

 

**D’Artagnan**

Why does Treville keep giving Athos weird looks whenever Athos visits the station?

 

**Constance**

I hadn’t noticed…

 

**D’Artagnan**

And Athos keeps standing apart from me when Treville walks into the room. Weird.

 

*

 

**D’Artagnan**

Do I have to keep doing ride-alongs with Rochefort? He’s so old money.

 

**Constance**

You don’t have the same problem with Athos

 

**D’Artagnan**

Yeah but Athos doesn’t talk about his Porche all the time. Or say it like poor-shah. Or smell like sour milk for some reason???

 

**D’Artagnan**

Also I’m not banging Rochefort sooo

 

**Constance**

I’ll see if I can switch up the intern roster.

 

**D’Artagnan**

Thank you ur an angel :)

 

**Constance**

I know. You owe me.

 

**D’Artagnan**

Omg now he’s struggling w the coffee machine. I swear he can’t do normal things bc they’re too common for him

 

**Constance**

It’s true that he once asked me what a fax machine was.

 

**D’Artagnan**

See? Totally different from Athos.

 

**Constance**

Hahahahaha

 

**D’Artagnan**

Lmao

 

**Constance**

Good one

 

*

 

**D’Artagnan**

Omg it’s flea isn’t it.

 

**Constance**

What’s Flea?

 

**D’Artagnan**

Your date! Your secret lov-ah

 

**Constance**

Why on earth would you say that?

 

**D’Artagnan**

I saw the way you were looking at xir tonight.

 

**D’Artagnan**

...Sorry I guess that was rude. I was excited to meet xir tonight, xe seems really nice.

 

**Constance**

Was I really looking at xir in that way?

 

**D’Artagnan**

I thought so.

 

**Constance**

I didn’t think it was like that between us.

 

**D’Artagnan**

Do you want to talk about it?

 

**Constance**

Not really.

 

**D’Artagnan**

Okay

 

**Constance**

It’s just what I have with xir is different from any other relationship I’ve had and I don’t know

 

**Constance**

It’s complicated I guess. And I don’t want to tell anyone until we’re sure.

 

**Constance**

Especially Porthos. He’d be so happy for us, you know? And I don’t know if it’s going to last or if we’re even in a real relationship

 

**Constance**

Because you know xe’s genderqueer ace. And that’s different for me. Good different though

 

**Constance**

And we date other people. Or at least we did, I don’t as much anymore

 

**Constance**

Oh my god I thnk I’m dating Flea

 

**Constance**

I need to go talk to xir

 

**D’Artagnan**

Call me if u need me ok?

 

**Constance**

You won’t tell right?? Not even Athos?

 

**D’Artagnan**

Believe me, I totally understand keeping a relationship under wraps. I won’t tell.

 

*

 

**Constance**

Are you two coming?

 

**D’Artagnan**

Yeah we’re just running a little late. Athos got distracted

 

**Constance**

No particulars please

 

**Constance**

Porthos is going in, he wants to find a good seat.

 

**D’Artagnan**

Go in w o us

 

**Constance**

Are you sure?

 

**D’Artagnan**

Yes Athos cejcfl

 

**Constance**

STOP TEXTING ME WHEN YOU’RE HAVING SEX

 

*

 

**D’Artagnan**

How was the movie

 

**Constance**

Don’t even talk to me

 

**D’Artagnan**

OH MY GOD I BUTT-DIALED YOU?? I’M SO SORRY

 

**Author's Note:**

> The next installment will have much more d'Athos interaction, don't worry ^.^ My deepest thanks to all who leave kudos!


End file.
